The Comparison Pit
I have grown up with an aversion to intense competition. I want others to win and am happy when they do.
I prefer individual sports to team sports where the competition is with myself without the pressure of performing to team standards. I enjoyed swimming and running because I could be in my own world with space to “be.”
BUT…the ongoing inner conversations with myself in any areas of life, can easily turn into a dialogue of criticism and “raising the bar” with endless expectations. This uncensored dialogue without reframing tools can lead to a paralyzing comparison pit.
And no one would ever know.
The inner struggle of outward comparison has been an ongoing battle for me. The awareness of this battle has enabled me to gather weapons to gain victory.
I traded comparison for compassion.
I befriended mindful self-compassion.
I learned from research that the inner critic, the constant effort of measuring up and comparison leads to stress, anxiety and an increased volume of our inner critic.
As the mind chatter grows with the comparisons we are surrounded with feeding the alienation of our true self.
The mind feels burdened and disappointment becomes our companion.
I have learned with practice to develop a relationship as my inner ally. I can respond to myself with kindness and understanding. Accepting myself, just like I do with my dear friends and family. It is natural with others. Why not me?
When I see the comparison path before me in work, relationships, my body or intellect, I envision the pit at the end. I turn my “face” toward compassion and truth and walk ON.
I recognize we ALL have challenges and the comparison changes to:
“I am not alone.”
The inner shift comes with this question:
“What do I need to hear right now?”
My answer today:
You are enough.
Just as you are.
And with this, I can let my mind rest.
I thank you God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you
do is marvelously breathtaking. Psalm 139:14 TPT