Go Ahead and Jump
A Mother's Day Special Edition:
At 14,000 feet, I was on the edge, door open, toes hanging over the edge, in position, gripping my loops, heart pounding, legs shaking, when the pilot said:
WAIT! We have gone too far and need to circle back!
It was my first time sky diving. Out of the eight experienced sky divers on the plane, I was the ONLY one who had a delay, the only first timer!
The two minute wait seemed like an hour. I had to hold.
Hold on to the promise I made to my adult children when I asked them:
“What do you want to do to make memories before you move?
Their immediate response; “Go skydiving!”
I thought they would say a special dinner, or hiking or kayaking!
I did not say yes. I said; “I will pray about it.”
As a single mom for the past 12 years, I have been extra careful with decisions, risks and choices. I have slowly rebuilt my trust not only in others, but in myself.
My dad’s final advice to me before he passed was to take time to make memories. I have lived with that mission since 2007.
So for a few days, I prayed and listened. The words I felt in my heart and soul were:
Life is an adventure..
And then a song popped in my head, one of my favorites back in the mid 80’s:
Jump by Van Halen.
When I shared that with the kids, they said; “Time to book it, we’re going.”
I had a little over a week to get ready. So I put it out of my mind. It was a great incentive to practice mindfulness in all my activities, so I could not think about it!
Then I remembered the words of encouragement I often say to my clients and friends and my four children; “When you face a challenge or a new opportunity, begin to visualize and practice daily.”
I begin my own visualization practice every day and downloaded the song Jump. As I worked out, I listened and began to see myself flying and landing!
Then, three days before the jump, I was struck with fear and apprehension and asked myself;
“Why in the world did I agree to do this? This is not a responsible mom decision.”
I talked to my daughter who was the first to sky dive several years ago and she listened, encouraged and gave me the space to feel my wide range of emotions. She was not able to sky dive with us as she is recovering from her car accident. But she was really my “wing woman” and gave me strength to walk into an adventure of a life time. She said to just give it 24 hours.
The morning before the jump, I decided to open my new book titled Rumi’s Reflections. A book full of wisdom, insights, written by one of the most read scholars and poet. I flipped it open, landed on a page and read:
will our children do in the morning if they don’t see us fly?”
I was AWESTRUCK. I knew this was a motherhood moment!
So I decided, I will go ahead and jump. Just as the song says.
We are on that doorway edge, waiting and my tandem partner calmly said, “I’ve got you.”
He rocked me forward and back.
Ready, set, JUMP.
And I flew..
I let go, I jumped off that edge!
No more waiting.
No more fear.
No more contemplation.
Instead, I had TRUST.
Instead, I had FREEDOM.
As I dropped into the sky at 120 miles an hour, I felt the greatest surge of energy, airflow and emotion. Nothing compared except the birth of my quadruplets.
It was indescribable. It was a massive infusion of energy and electricity in every cell of my body. Head to toe.
My tandem partner had to pry my hands off the loops to help pull the parachute and open my arms to fly. Then I was able to grab the controls of the parachute, relax, and take in the beauty of the earth below me, my heart and soul expressing the purest form of gratitude I had.
I looked to my left and saw the love of my life flying above me and felt the tears streaming down my face.
A moment etched in my soul forever.
As we floated down, I saw my three children waiting and watching for me. Another moment etched in my soul.
This time, they lead the way…
A way for me to take a risk, step out of my comfort zone, live life and TRUST. A memory created for all of us to treasure.
I was greeted with lots of hugs, laughter and celebration. Pure joy!
As we opened the door and walked into the center to change and return our equipment,
The song by Van Halen comes on randomly on the speaker.
“Might as well jump…”
And I did.
Be strong and courageous and do it.
1 Chronicles 28:20