It has been a year and a half since my quadruplets have moved out on their own. It was a gradual process of two moving, then the third and then the fourth the following September.
I felt prepared and happy for them. I anticipated life on my own with my own space. I had never lived alone. It was a new season.
I launched into my Positive Psychology program, with weekly classes and one weekend a month in NYC. I started working part time with CC4C, a non-profit and I continued as a BSF leader. I loved all these roles and felt vibrant and alive. My days were full and I enjoyed the rhythm.
I have witnessed my young adults build their lives, find their way, launch out and take risks, travel on their own, make their own decisions, fail, get back up and move forward. It is wonderful to watch, yet I have begun to feel a deeper level of emptiness. Our relationships are strong and open, yet I feel the change. I was a bit amazed that I did not feel super sad when I first became an “empty nester”. I was recreating my life and investing in my future and now, as all my training is done, I find myself in a state of “fine tuning”, with a layer of sadness. It is another transition in life: Empty Nest level II.
What will keep me grounded and anchored to my purpose, no matter what age? What practices can I do that I trust to yield results of positive change and emotion? What is good? What do I need and want right now? Am I listening to my intuition or I am allowing mind chatter to distract and discourage? Who can I trust to listen to me without judgement, someone to lean on and have fun with?
The answers to these questions are in my heart and soul. I can use my tools to move forward one step at a time, reminding myself to practice gratitude for the little things knowing it’s just a matter of taking the time to ask, listen and practice self-compassion and grace as I find my rhythm.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26